bad ties. « manshion.

I hate bad ties.

By bad ties, I mean ties that look like their designs are printed on.

Yeesh. I like this country and all but not enough to Xerox a waving "banner of glory" onto my necktie.

Yeesh. I like this country and all but not THIS much.

Ties that have cartoons on them.

Damn straight it won't.

Ties that celebrate holidays, serving as decoration betwixt your lapels.

A landmark design as this also is the first Earth Day decoration I've ever seen.

Celebrate Earth Day while takin' care of business.

Ties that are sateen and pair well with a zoot-suit.

What do you match this with? Actually, I don't want to know. Ps. Only $245 to look like a frumpy schlub.

What do you match this with? $245 ugliness.

Ties that come with shirts (I’ve already covered this, but my hatred still lingers).

Ever notice that no real designers make these? Note this.

Old paisley ties. Actually, just old ties that haven’t reached their vintage glory yet… so yea, just old and “trendy” back then, but looking just old and “snazzy” right now. Honestly, on second thought, there’s potential to do the “ironic, cheap, old tie look” (or invent it pretty much)… but I’m not that brave (as the exact ones pictured here take quite a bit of courage). Hats off to those of you who are. Slight nod to those that make better selections than pictured and pull of the look without nearly as much effort.

You know you're in for a ride when 103 of these get sold as a 'lot' on eBay for about $20.

eBay. 103 of these for <$20. End of story.

Andy Bernard (from The Office) ties (not so high on my list). Best described as JCrew/Polo ties from a few too many seasons ago, that are bright and preppy without any vintage appeal. They hint at a crass, “I’m a jerkface” in an ill-fitting California tuxedo vibe. Can’t write them all off, but notice the better ones are less in your face, more vintage, narrow, and less vibrant.